People can be so fake, it makes me sick.

It was a hell of a LONG day for me. Work started at 9am all the way till almost 7pm. Julie, my colleague wasn't feeling well and decided to go home at 4pm. It was so last minute and they couldn't get relief for her. Guess who had to help? ME. I had to bring her kids and mine to the Conference Room. ALL 60 over of them. FOR 5 FUCKING PERIODS. 3.30pm-6pm.

I was actually pissed off.


Pissed at her because it was just a matter of a couple of hours more. I don't know what her degree of pain was, but she could have just assigned her pupils with work while she rests at the teacher's desk.

Pissed at the subject head as well for not being able to at least help in finding relief. I saw people who were free periods in the staff room.

GRR.

I didn't have enough sleep because I got home kind of late last night. I was over at Shah's place playing rock band HAHAHA! :P Even so, I was so busy today that I didn't get to stop for a second to actually feel sleepy. LOL.

Sigh.

I dread going to work each and every day.

I remember when I first started out as a teacher, I had ridiculous amount of quarrels with Shah. He didn't understand why at times I had to stay late in school, he didn't understand why there are impromptu meetings. At that point of time, I thought I was the only one facing that problem. I thought it was just him who was not able to compromise, but I thought wrong.

I've spoken to other teachers who have been in the service for a long time and it seems that it's the norm.

You see, from an outsider's point of view, a teacher's job is purely to teach. We have that 5-day work week, which is a complete pile of bullshit. If you are teaching in the morning session, working hours is 7am-1pm for most schools. Whereas if you're in the afternoon session, it's 12.30pm-6.30pm. One would think that once those hours are over, that is it, you go home. But now, you don't. You don't because work is crazy. Being a teacher is really just 20% teaching and 80% bullshit. That is not inclusive of the bootlickers who shashay around but actually do nothing. I knew teaching wasn't going to be easy, I knew working wasn't going to be easy, but I truly did not expect this.

Sometimes when I sit and reflect, I get sad really. Sad because I chose this profession for a reason. I wasn't forced into this, it was what I wanted to do all along. I've always known that I want to be a teacher when I grow up. It is sad because I dread going to work because of all the things that goes around. I try not to get affected, but I think the frustration shows. My ex-colleague came by last week and she said I looked frustrated. I guess it shows.

Every time I meet Shah I whine and complain- not about the pupils because I adore them(although they make me want to strangle them!), but because of all the drama that takes place everyday. He must be sick of it already lol.

One of the units in the primary 2 textbook is on ambition. So I got my kids to talk about their ambition. A few of my girls said they want to be a teacher. When asked why, they said "because I think it is easy."

I could only afford a laugh.

Such is an innocent mind, who sees the world through a rose tinted glass.

Oh, and the part where I said Shah didn't understand my job scope, well, it gets better everyday. He's more understanding now. It helps having that kind of support. I wouldn't know how to deal with all the shit at work and then him not understanding. I would go crazy! lol But like what my colleagues shared, it takes time(a long time) before they understand. I'm thankful that Shah has tried and is still trying :) Gah, I miss him. HEHEHE!


Well, I think it's time to rest my mentally and physically exhausted self.

Once in a while I will get into my wedding mood. Like, NOW.

As mentioned before, we are planning and hoping to have our wedding in December of 2010. By right, we are supposed to make bookings already. Venue, bridal, photographer, videographer, wedding decor, catering and all that jazz. HOWEVER, so far we have done ZERO number of bookings. LOL. It's kind of scaring me because by the time we finally decide to make bookings, I'm afraid our date would have already been blocked and we'd have to settle for something which isn't our first choice. I do not want to settle. Furthermore, December is a peak period for weddings. GAH!

So I was thinking that we must decide our date ASAP. We MUST decide if 2010 would be the year for us, because we are kind of contemplating to push it to 2011 because of money matters. Honestly, I don't want to push it to 2011. That's like 2 more years and I don't want that :/ At one point of time my mum was pestering me to get Shah's family to come and decide on a date but I simply told her to wait. It has gotten to a point where people are asking if we are really going to have our wedding next year. It annoys me sometimes.

It seems so bleak but I'm sure things aren't as bad as it seems (or I'm making it out to be). I was thinking, with the savings that I currently have, it's enough for us to make deposits. Right now the major ones would be bridal, wedding decor and of course, catering where the bulk of our money would go to. Once that is out of the way, we can concentrate on other stuff. We have already booked Bridal Concept for our indoor and outdoor photoshoot, so that's one down. We made deposits even before we got engaged. 3 months after we got together to be exact. We must be crazy! LOL! Anyway, yeah, the other minor ones(but not so minor) can be done from the beginning of next year.

So! I'm going to talk to Shah about it tomorrow and we'll see how it goes...

I am not a male.
I will be a quarter of a century old in a few months time.
I live in a country which is just a small red dot on the world map.
I teach for a living.
I enjoy teaching.
I don't enjoy work politics.

I am half married.
I love my other half dearly.
He completes me.





Lastly, you will only know my name once you've added me :P Yup, I welcome new people to my journal.